March in the Mission

This month at the Bishop's Storehouse went by so fast! Here are some things that happened:

- I got appointed to be Sister Gygi's secretary haha

- The other YCSM sister finished her mission so it's Sister Keeley and a billion Elders. (Maybe not a billion, but we decided to sing the mashup of "As Sisters in Zion" and "We'll Bring the World His Truth" for zone conference. Good thing the senior missionary sisters will sing with me, otherwise it'd be a solo haha! It's great fun though, the Elders are awesome.)

-I tried a real ice cream sandwich: ice cream on a piece of bread. It tastes exactly like how it sounds.

- I finished the Book of Mormon again. Let me tell you all, that book is true! It changes lives. It has brought a lot of healing and peace and answers into my life. It's Heavenly Father's words to us and I love it so much! I challenge you all to read it everyday; it will bless your life!

- We watched The Other Side of Heaven as a group. 

- I changed my depression medication. Life is a roller coaster.

- One of my friends from high school came through the temple for the first time, and guess who got to help her?? Sister Keeley! #divinelyorchestrated 

-I gave the devotional in our district meeting with an hour's warning. Thank goodness for the Spirit and the help from Heavenly Father! I definitely was led by the Spirit, and would have been so stressed without God's help.

Here is the quote of the month that has blessed my life:

"Mothers, you might be kneeling next to your four-year-old as he says his bedtime prayer. A feeling flows over you as you listen. You feel warmth and peace. The feeling is brief, but you recognize that you, at that moment, are counted worthy to receive. We may seldom, if ever, receive huge spiritual manifestations in our lives; but we can frequently savor the sweet whisperings of the Holy Ghost verifying the truth of our spiritual worth." (-Joy B. Jones)

My little sister Anna had been looking for her piano books for several days. One day, she and Sarah were looking and getting frustrated. I prayed for help in finding them. All of a sudden, I had the thought to check the car. We only had one of our cars in our driveway, but I checked it anyway. They were in it! I know God knew what we were going through, and though it was small, He showed forth His great power and love towards His children. Also, I have been in the slow process of switching depression meds, and when I get depressed I feel far from God. This was an moment in my day where He showed me I was still worthy, He still cared, and He has power to fix broken things.  Having the Spirit is one of the greatest blessings ever! Sometimes we take it for granted, but I am seeing more and more how blessed we are! We are not alone. He sends us the Comforter.

Psalms 8: 3-5 states, "When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour."

Often I feel like this. I have done nothing to deserve His love. I am so small, yet He loves little old me. His love is eternal, everlasting, and I just can't comprehend it! I know He loves us, and we can each feel it too. He cares enough to let us know. He cares enough to help a struggling daughter feel His love by showing her where her sister's piano books were. He cares. "Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me enough to die for me! Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me."

Okay so I feel like sharing this story, I'm not sure why. One Sunday this month, someone said something at church that made me feel like my comment during the lesson wasn't good enough. Anyways, next Sunday rolled around. Thanks goodness for my calling, I showed up like normal to be in the library. However, once I was in the chapel, I remembered once again the last Sunday. My thoughts once again attacked me. I felt inadequate. Not needed. Not loved. I started to not want to be there. However, deep in me, I desired to want to be there. So, during the Sacrament, I prayed. Heavenly Father opened my eyes to see that there are indeed people in my ward who love me. They love me in spite of my imperfections. They are there for me through thick and thin. Then, He helped me to see that the person whose comment had hurt me actually loved me too. They didn't even know it hurt me, but if they did, they would want to help me. Heavenly Father helped me forgive and He helped me realize that I am loved and I am needed in His Kingdom. There is a place for everyone in our church. He just keeps helping me see I am loved and I am good enough. Everyone, EVERYONE, is needed and loved. 

Another thing that hit home for me this month was in the Come, Follow Me resource for families and individuals. We read in Mark 2:1- 12:

                       1 And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was in the house.

2 And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door: and he preached the word unto them.

3 And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four.

4 And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay.

5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.

6 But there were certain of the scribes sitting there, and reasoning in their hearts,

7 Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only?

8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts?

9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?

10 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,)

11 I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.

12 And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and glorified God, saying, We never saw it on this fashion.

When I read it, it hit me how much depression and other trials as well are like the palsy. It can immobilize a person. It feels like I cannot get nigh into Christ because of the press because of the thick darkness and thoughts that keep me away from feeling the fruits of the Spirit. It's extremely discouraging! However, I also have those good souls hoisting a rope in their hands, lowering me slowly until I am close to Christ again. They love me even though I am immobilized and I don't seem like me anymore.  Then, the Savior says, "Thy sins be forgiven thee." Why does He say that instead of just healing him? I don't know, but I do know that when He says this, it is powerful! It changes lives. He has said it to me often when I am feeling low. He reminds me that I am still counted worthy. I can't really explain it, but it just brings a sense of relief and hope and joy, even though I still have my problem to face. He then heals the man. Someday, I will be healed. I don't know when, but I have faith that I will be. "Because He has an eternal perspective, Heavenly Father can see things we cannot. His joy, work, and glory are to bring to pass our immortality and exaltation. Everything He does is for our benefit. He "wants [our] eternal happiness even more than [we] do." And He "would not require [us] to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for [our] benefit or for that of those [we] love."'(Brian K. Ashton) He loves us even when we can't feel it also. Someday it will all work out. He will heal us all.

This month I helped a cute family as they were sealed. The three littles were getting sealed to their parents. There was so much light and happiness emanating from this family! Oh, how beautiful is it that we can be sealed with those we love for forever! Heavenly Father's whole plan circles around families. I have made an effort to serve and love my family more each day recently. As I have done so, I have felt more love and connected with them. Families are one way God shows His love to us. 

One quote I read that stood out to me is "Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks." -Thomas S. Monson. When I first got to the storehouse, I would be exhausted and stressed come 4:00. Now though, I often stay until 5 or 6 and feel energized afterwards. I know that it is through His grace that I am enabled to do this. He is making me stronger and happier. I know He is active in our lives, and He loves us. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is His church, and He will speak to us through His prophets this weekend. I invite you all to listen and find His individualized message meant for you. He loves you!

Love you all!

Sister Keeley