"The Lord wants me to Rest for Awhile"

"The Lord wants me to rest for awhile" is what some of our kabahay sisters (sisters who live in our apartment too) say when they need to take a break or a nap, so they can rest up and work better. The Lord wants me to get help, and come back home. He wants me to rest for awhile. It is definitely not the path I envisioned, but it is the path He has in mind. I don't know what will happen in my future, if I'll ever go back out or not, but for now, I'll start with these few steps forward. 

This whole depression thing has been so hard. It feels like I'm alone, and I can't feel His presence, but I wish to testify that even when you feel alone, broken, and scared, He is still there. There have been countless times where I felt I could just not go on, but somehow He has carried me through them all. Friday was one such day. My depression was super high, and I just wanted to cry in our lesson. As we opened with a prayer, as they prayed I plead silently in my heart to my Heavenly Father to help me. There was NO way I could not cry unless He were to help me. Then, after, I started to ask the investigators how they were doing, and to follow up on their commitments, and as I started I immediately felt a huge portion of my burden lifted. I still had depression, but God gave me enough strength to do that lesson and many others that day. Somehow, through His grace, I made it through and felt comforted. He is there, even when it's hard, when it feels dark and alone. He is there. He has given me enough strength and light to make it through each moment, up until now, and will continue to. I know God is real and He loves us more than we can comprehend.

I love you all. I know that God loves us, and Jesus knows exactly how we feel and wants to help us as well. He knows exactly how we feel when we feel broken, hopeless, and beyond repair, and He always is there. He always loves us, always is cheering us on. Even when we can't feel Him there, He is there. I know this to be true. 

Thank you all for the countless prayers and letters. I needed them, and they have been a source of comfort and helped sustain me. Love you!

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow, For I shall be with thee, thy troubles to bless, And sanctify to thee (...) Thy deepest distress." (Hymn #85)

See you soon!

Sister Keeley